This is passion, this is heart.

I woke up late for my ortho appointment this morning. Slept in until 9:50am and had to be at the orthodontist at 11:00am. Got up, brushed my teeth, put my shoes on, and headed out the door. Actually made it right in time. And guess what? I ended up leaving the appointment today with more metal in my mouth than I had when I arrived. Yupp. Doc said I was starting to get a cross-bite from not wearing my retainers so I have a full mouth of braces now. Oh! And I got rubber bands too. Life isn't fair. Haha. Now I'm even more nerdy and look even younger than before. FML! LOL. Well, doc said he's still going to shoot for taking them off in March. Otherwise, it may be a little later than expected.









P.S.- I need to find a job. Word.

So I got this message on Facebook earlier:

"NICOLE - So I haven't seen you in forever and it sucks and I am sorry. There has been so much shit going on and I have become a recluse. But it's looking like they will be closing down hoover Kids Place after christmas and Kim can not guarantee us jobs so I made the decision to just go home. I have a guaranteed job back in KY and it's more than what I make now. It sucks to be leaving but at the same time I am kind of relieved. I know how you must of felt before you quit, it just feels like more trouble than it's worth. Anyway I leave on Christmas eve and I really hope you and I can hang out a bit before I go. You have been a great friend while I've been here and I will miss you very much. But at least you will have a place to stay if you ever decide to see KY."



It was from Megan. She's moving back to Kentucky. She's leaving me. This girl is seriously like my sister, one of my best friends. I mean, I haven't known her all that long, only a few months, but when I met her we totally clicked. We both could relate to one another in so many ways. We met back in September at work and because I found her a roommate (my friend Liz) to live with when she moved out here from Kentucky. This girl replaced Renae, instantly. I mean, Renae and I stopped talking back in June/July and I never thought I'd find another amazing friend like her, but I did. Megan's always had my back and I've had hers. I mean, of course we can still be friends even if she lives on the other side of the United States. But fuck! It sure was a slap in the face. I feel lost! That sounds stupid, I know, but this isn't fair. My family even loved her! My mom took her in like her 2nd daughter since Megan's family is back in Arizona/Kentucky/North Carolina. And my brother thought she was really awesome! She met Nicholas and all my friends in Ellensburg. And they all liked her! And then she decides to leave us all. Uggghhh. I mean, I am happy for her. She gets to go back to her boyfriend Brandon (yes, they worked things out), her family/friends, and her old job. But she's leaving me and I don't like it. I can always go visit, but it's just not the same, ya know. Man oh man! I don't think I'm going to sleep very well tonight!

Visting with mi familia. Mom came out to the Burg today for class, I came home with her. It's nice to be around them! Even though we only live 30 minutes from one another, I miss them a lot! Went to dinner tonight with them. Checked out the new Bob's Burgers and Brew restaurant. Delicious! Really sleepy, could definitely pass out. Going to get offline and go socialize. Heading home tomorrow, but be back Wednesday, orthodontist appointment at 11:00am. I really hope I can get these dang braces off already. Seriously!!! Why did I have to get them a third time?!?! Oh, I guess because I never worn my retainers, lol. Well, luckily they're only on a few of my front teeth. Haha. ;]

This apartment is always so cold. My feet and hands are freezing. I swear, one day, they're going to fall off.











It's Sunday, but man am I bored. I think I'm going to crawl into bed, do a lil' reading, and then pass out.


P.S.- Thanksgiving was wonderful! Glad I got to see all my family. Will post pictures on FB soon. Glad I was able to spend the week with my family. =]

Stomach has been killing me all day. I drank a bunch of water thinking that may help. Then like 30 minutes later I threw up. I threw up the water. I hate throwing up. Made my throat hurt and it even came out my nose. Gross! I know. Ouch too. I cried so hard. I always cry when I'm sick. Ended up laying down for a good two hours, but couldn't really sleep. Now my head hurts and so do my ears. Idk what's up with me. My mom was saying it's probably because my stupid stomach issues, I don't have any room in there. Dang stomach!!! Why can't the 10th hurry up and get here already?!?! I may have to go back into the gastro doctor sooner than that if this keeps happening. I feel horrible. I seriously feel like I'm dying.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!




I'm thankful for my family, friends, and my puppy dog. Thanks to a great year too! Oh, and I'm thankful for being alive.

Ok, so I was asleep on the couch. Got up to go to bed in the spare bedroom, got online for a sec, now I'm wide awake. wtf?

Chillin' at my mom's casa. Just spendin' the day relaxin'. Got my puppy Zoey all curled up on the couch next to me. We've been watchin' the Law & Order:SVU marathon on TV all day. Made myself some lunch a lil' bit ago too. White rice and sauted shrimp w/ lemon pepper. Delicious! Doin' some laundry too. I need clean clothes.

Ohhhhhh, so got a phone call a lil' bit ago about a possible job opportunity. It's at Elmview in the Burg. They need to finish processing my application, but to do that I must go in and do a background check. I wish I could do it today or tomorrow, but alas, I am here. So I'm just going to go in and do it Monday.




Things are looking up!!!!! =]

My tummy hurts. Fuck. It's probably the cheese from the pizza I ate last week. Seriously, no more dairy or sugar. FML.



I should be in bed.

Damn LV. Can't ever remember my dang user name or password for this dang thing. Things have been going really well lately. Or at least I feel a lot happier. Things are just peaceful and that's the way I like it.

Movies I've watched lately:

*The Girlfriend Experience (featuring Sasha Grey-the porn star)
*The Fugitive
*The Beautiful Ordinary (a.k.a. Remember the Daze)

Great movies! Everyone should check them out.

It's always freezing in this apartment. You seriously have to cuddle up with a blanket to keep warm. I swear, the heater is broken or something. So irritating sometimes.

The weekend is over. Always seems to go by so fast. Too fast sometimes. Oh, last night was a cocktail party "Mad Men" style at Keith/Stein/Tyson/Foster's casa. It was wonderful! Everyone dressed up and had their fancy drinks. Lots of good music and good vibes. So classy! Have pictures posted up on Facebook.

Interview tomorrow at 2:00. Going to spent the rest of the week in Yakima. Saves on gas. Not so much driving back and fourth. Looking forward to Thanksgiving! Can't wait to spend time with mi familia. Hope my mom and I get along this week. Sometimes when we spent too much time together we get on one anothers nerves. However, I haven't been home in awhile and for such a long length of time. Should go well. Just gotta bring my reading material.

Ok, so it snowed last night. Woke up to white outside. But guess what? It melted. Of course! Lame! I really hope it'll be a white Christmas this year. I'm sure it will, but just sayin'.

Alright, I'm bored. Going to go doll myself up for my boo. *wink wink*

Night ya'll! <3

*Today Sherry's work was having sort of like a job fair from 9:00am-12:00pm. You could walk in, drop off your application/resume/references and get interviewed on the spot. Some girl names Kalee interviewed me. She seemed pretty cool. I hope I hear back about that job.

*I also received a phone call about an hour or so ago about an interview at 2:00pm this coming Monday for a position at a childcare center. I hope I hear back about that. That'd be neat!

*I've applied for quite a few other jobs locally. Figured I'd stick the winter out. Then come Spring/Summer I'll make the BIG move. I really just need to save up more money. Doesn't make sense for me to move anywhere when I don't have any money saved up or as much as I should. Goodness I suck!!!! But alas, what can you do. I'd rather have a plan than be homeless.

*I really need to sit down with my mom and figure out my finances. As much as I don't like to let her talk me into things, they're probably the smarter decisions.

*I need to find a one bedroom place around here. Unless, I move in with Megan and her boy (when he gets here from Kentucky). They're looking at getting place by January 1st. She told Liz she'd be out by then. That could possibly help me save money, but I don't know how long that'd last. I mean, I love the girl, she's one of my best friends, but that may get old, and fast. I really enjoy living by myself anyways.

*I'm happy because all the jobs I applied for is somewhere I can actually use my degree. I didn't want to work somewhere that doesn't take talent. Idk, does that make sense?!

*Can't believe Thanksgiving is next week. WOW! How time flies. Then it'll be one month until Christmas. I forgot how much I loved the holidays. I mean, even though I'm stressed, I try to think positive, especially during these times, when you have to be thankful for what it is and who it is, you have. They're are others who have a lot less. Which reminds me, I think my family and I are going to serve food at the mission the day before Thanksgiving. I love giving back; volunteering is something I always try to do in my free time. Plus my brother wants to get more involved and of course, he needs volunteer hours. So it should be a good time!

*Glad it's the weekend! Means more down time, time to hangout with friends. Tomorrow night is a cocktail party at Stein/Keith's casa. Should be a fun time!

*Think I'm going to travel back to Yakima Monday and stay the week, if, of course, my mom will let me. Her and I don't always see eye-to-eye, but it is Thanksgiving this week and I got stuff I gotta do.

*Well, guess that's it. Gonna go. Sean is here. Gonna go be social. Watch Nicholas play CODWD2.

Ate pizzzzzzzzzzzza. Yummmm. Made me happy. Surfing the TV channels earlier and came across this show called, "Accidentally on Purpose". Only watched a little bit of it, but pretty think it may be my new show. Hmmmmm. So the tum-tum hurts. Hopefully I only have to deal with this for a little while longer.

Spent the majority of yesterday sleeping, from the afternoon through to the evening. Got up to make some food which didn't sit too well. Then went back to bed. Woke up at 3:00am to find Nicholas asleep on the couch. Turned the TV off for him and then went back to bed. Woke up around 8:00am to a phone call which I, of course, ignored. Went back to bed. Laid around until 11:00am or so. Got up, made some food, and watched a movie. Still sitting around in my sweat pants and hoodie. Need to get up and take a shower. Then, idk.




Traveling to the west side of the mountains either tonight, late, around 8:00pm. Otherwise, playing it safe, and going tomorrow morning. Will be there for who knows how long.

And so that was it. The end of a chapter, the start of another. Except this time, with the swipe of a pen, the character was erased.










The end.

"These Boys Actin Like Worthless Hoes But They Career Is Like The Car They Be In The Curtains Closed
They Want War Lets Get It Now
They Want Beef I Give Then A Cow
You Do Wanna Get On My Bad Side
I Leave em Wit No Neck Like Fat Guys
Dont Be Playin With Me
I Ad-vise..." - WEEZY BABY <3

A little update, as if I don't update this enough.

*Doctor appointment at Gastro. place today. Scheduled my surgery for December 10th. Also, I have to stop eating dairy, sugar, and caffeine. So messed up! I can't believe it! I love candy and I love cheese too. Damn me! Total bummer!!!

*Had my 2nd interview today. Think it went pretty well! Want to know more about that, well, ask me personally. Still keeping my options open though. Still have others ont he back burners.

*So what's the deal with all my family members on my dad's side making Facebook accounts, finding me, friend requesting me, and writing me. I haven't met or talked to half these people before. And some I haven't spoken to since I was real little. Why is it, that now, everyone wants to be a part of my life?? Where were you 10 years ago?? It's pathetic.

*My mom and I are sort of talking again, so that's a good thing. I hate that her and I have our little fights. I mean, it always happens, but then we go a few days or weeks without talking. I wish it could just be perfect, for once. But hey, life isn't perfect.

*I've seen a few things I want for X-mas. I need to start putting together my Christmas list. Which, will end up being what I'm going to by for myself. I need to figure out what my brother and my mom want, although, I do have a few ideas. Oh, and Zoey too. Can't forget my lil' puppy. Haha.

*My tailbone has been hurting for days now. Idk what I could of done, but it really hurts. I have to make sure when I sit down, to sit a certain way, otherwise I get sharp pains. Sucks, seriously.

*Hungout with my ladies, Meg-O and Liz last night. We went to Max's around 5:00pm and started drinking. They were having "Ladies Night", haha, so all drinks were $1.50. Oh, and we got free food too. Totally scored! Then we went home and drank some Sailor Jerrys Rum. Then we ended up at some house party. It was a LONG night! Although, we really didn't stay out that long. We were home by midnight. I think it just seemed like such a long night because we started drinking so early.




I will write more later, I promise. I do have other things my heart wants to spill out, but I will wait. Today just doesn't seem like the time to do so.

Masters of Arts in Sociology??? Want to plan a trip to go check out Idaho State University. It's located in Pocatello, Idaho. Kind of looks like a small town. Hmmmm. Idk. I'd probably do better in bigger town. I really need to make up my mind. Damn me! So many places interest me. I need to pick one thing and stick to it.





My teeth hurt. Fuccccck. I hate having braces.

My new wool flannel smells like old people. I hope it's not off some old mans dead body. Ewwww. Haha. Uhhhhh ummmm, my teeth hurt. I've ate too many sweets today. Thumbs way down to that. It's currently 5:15am in Brazil. Or Sao Paulo, Brazil to be exact. 68 degrees, fog, and mild rain.


I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS SONG!!!

"BEAUTIFUL"-AKON


"[Akon]
When I see you
I run out of words to say (oh oh)
I wouldn't leave you
'Cause you're that type of girl to make me stay (oh oh)

I see the guys tryna' holla
Girl I don't wanna bother you
'Cause you're independent and you got my attention
Can I be your baby father
Girl I just wanna show you
That I love what you are doin' hun

I see you in the club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you, yeah
I see you in the club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful
So damn beautiful

[Akon & Colby O'Donis]
You're so beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
You're so beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
You're so beautiful

[Colby O'Donis]
Like the clouds you
Drift me away, far away (yeah)
And like the sun you
Brighten my day, you brighten my day (yeah)
I never wanna see you cry cry cry
And I never wanna tell a lie lie lie
Said I never wanna see you cry cry cry
And I never wanna tell a lie lie lie

[Akon]
I see you in the club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you, yeah
I see you in the club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful
So damn beautiful

[Akon & Colby O'Donis]
You're so beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful
You're so beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful

[Kardinal Offishall]
Kardinal told you
Whether the sky blue or yellow
This fella ain't that mellow
If it ain't about you (you)
Hourglass shape make the place go (ooohhh)
Waistline makes my soldier salute
I'mma brute (brute)
High from your high heel game
High heels push up ya ass last name
And you livin' in the fast lane
Eyes like an angel (goddess)
Watch my yellin' as she undress
Spotless (otless) bad to the bone
Make me wanna go put me in the triple X zone (zone)
Lames don't know how to talk to you
So let me walk with you, hold my hand
I'mma spend them grands, but after you undress
Not like a hooker, but more like a princess
Queen, empress, president
Pull any way ya got my love
'Cause your beautiful (okay??)

[Akon]
I see you in the club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you (ohh yeah)
I see you in the club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful (so beautiful)
So damn beautiful (so beautiful)

[Akon & Colby O'Donis]
You're so beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
You're so beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
You're so beautiful

[Akon]
Where'd you come from you're outta this world
To me (ohh ohh)
You're a symbol of what every beautiful woman should be (oooh wee) (ohh ohh)

[Colby O'Donis]
I never wanna see you cry cry cry (don't cry)
And I never wanna tell a lie lie lie (oh yeah)
Said I never wanna see you cry cry cry (ohhhh)
And I never wanna tell a lie lie lie (lieee)

[Akon]
I see you in the club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you (ooh yeah)
I see you in the club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful
So damn beautiful"

negatives:

-cold feet (in every sense of way)
-chapped lips
-tummy aches
-tired

positives:

-wonderful weekend well spent
-great friends
-L's horoscopes

Meus olhos estão queimando. Eu juro que é verdade. ♥



Yupp. Pretty sure those onions are killing my eyes.








Fuck for still being sick. Took some Tyenol head cold medicine earlier. Cleared my nose right up. And now all the sudden I feel like I can't breathe. I really hate my sinus problems. Well, at least I got to go shopping today. This weekend I scored: new flats, new shirt, new flannel sweater, new dress, new beanie, and new hair things.



P.S. -
As pessoas falam. Você diz que tanto quando você diz tão pouco.